Basic Fear: Without support
Basic Desire: To be supported
Healthy: Enneagram 9 (Find peace)
Unhealthy: Enneagram 3 (overwork themselves to calm distress)
I love sixes. Maybe because I’m married to one and seem to be surrounded by them, or just because they’re the people that you can always depend on.
A six is called The Loyalist for good reason, they’re loyal to a fault. They see community and having close relationships as part of survival which is where their root fear lives–safety and security are their priority.
Sixes have high anxiety. Sitting in the middle of the head triad (aka fear triad) they get lost in their heads figuring out the worst-case scenario for any situation, which is where their fear builds. As the devil’s advocate, they question everything, especially authority. But just as they are looking for how it can all go wrong, they are also looking to see how they can protect those they care about most and make it go right.
If you are in a relationship with a six remember:
- They will question your intentions and try to decide how safe they are in this relationship. Once they know they are secure though, you’ll have them for life.
- They need reassurance of your love, of your trust, and that you too are going to be loyal.
- They will point out the problems in the relationship and will seek cues in your behavior to better understand what is going on with you.
- They have strong ideas but don’t always follow through and might need extra encouragement to get the job done.
Sixes are the ones that create community and help foster a feeling of security within it. While they might not always be the life of the party, they like to be a part of the party and know that they are a part of something bigger. It creates a sense of safety just in case the tides turn and they are in need of extra support.
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