Basic Fear: Being Helpless
Basic Desire: Competent
Healthy: Enneagram 8 (assert what they know to be true)
Unhealthy: Enneagram 7 (let go and over-consume)
The Enneagram five, also known as the observer, likes to have all the details in order to feel in control. They see knowledge as power and need the space to think and process all that they learn.
As a five, you like to have boundaries and privacy. This gives you space to process what’s going on around you and to decompress from all that’s happened. Often, fives are introverts and feel drained by too much time with people. However, they need to spend time with others in order to get all the knowledge they need to feel in control.
The five compartmentalizes their way of doing and thinking. They often unhook from their emotions and stick with the facts. This can make being in a relationship hard but when they’re in a healthy space, they’re able to identify when they are disconnecting from their emotions.
If you are in a relationship with a five remember:
- That they aren’t feelings first types of people, but their feelings will usually surface for them when they are alone.
- They are afraid of losing their independence and need their own space.
- Just as they compartmentalize their thoughts they can do so with their relationships. You’ll need to work with them and build trust to have access to their whole life.
- When they aren’t required to respond they are often the best support you’ll ever find.
Fives are a part of the head triad, meaning that they tend to be in their heads a lot. The head triad is also known as the fear triad which is why they often have the worst-case scenario lined up in their mind. With the combination of fear and their need for data, the Observer can take the facts and create a plan that will bring you to safety. They come up with solutions you might not have seen and will be the support you’ve always been looking for.