Finding The Balance

I’m sitting on a park bench taking a break from a long day of work. I can feel the cold air blow against one cheek, and the hot Colorado sun kisses the other, and all over a sudden, I realize that in all things in life there has to be a balance.

Weather aside, I’ve reached a breaking point. That point where you can’t think straight, you’re so tired you think you could sleep while walking, and that short fuse you already thought was too short, just got even shorter. That’s the breaking point I’ve reached. 

I’m sitting here counting the to-dos in my head. The full-time marketing job with a huge event coming up, the growing side gig that I really want to spend all my time on and of course the wedding I’m planning that’s only three months away. I am a believer that I can do it all and to not do it all is to accept defeat. (I am a type three on the enneagram, after all, we find our worth in work).

I’ve been listening to more podcasts, specifically about growing a business, but a few health and wellness ones here and there and I can see that the mindfulness and meditation aspects they talk about have entirely left my life. I love running home and working on my side hustle. I love growing my social media, creating content to share and dreaming big dreams. I don’t always love the yoga, even though I do have hopes of being able to contort my bodies in ways that don’t look healthy to the eye. 

When I get home from work, I work. When I have free time on the weekends, I work. When I wake up in the morning with two hours to myself, I work. And I see that while things are slowly growing, I may be filling my time with more busy work so that I can feel closer to my goals while I’m actually in the same place. And I know that if I keep at it this way, I’ll never make my dreams come true because I’ll be a zombie. 

 But just as nothing in life is one-size-fits-all, I too have to find the balance that works for me, just as you’ll have to find out for you. Today that starts with a long Lavender bath, the biggest cup of tea and a good book (I’m currently reading Big Magic)! Tomorrow I’ll find more ways to stay balanced, and each day I’ll take a body scan to see where the stress lies and how to lessen it. 

It’s a day by day process. One I’ll be playing with for life.